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Home Family One Good Week

Q: 17 blonds stand out side a workout room, why don't they go in
A: The sign says must be 18 to enter.


One Good Week E-mail
Written by Post Master   
Sunday, 13 February 2011 16:22
Save up to 90% on Used Textbooks at BarnesandNoble.com. Shop Now!

----- Original Message -----

From: Sonya S
Sent: Tuesday, 03 Aug 2010 3:06 PM
Subject: One Good Week

One Good Week


One Good Week

MONDAY

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex...
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the  family's status, she
consulted the family doctor.  The doctor told her that teenagers today were very
willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to
arrange for her daughter   to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a
box of condoms.  Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date,
the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying,
'Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that!    I'm dating Susan!'

TUESDAY

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said,
'Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!'  The preacher said,
'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.' The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that
sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!'  The preacher said, 'No shit?'

WEDNESDAY

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.  With some hesitation, they explained that although
their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.  After examining
the child, the doctor   confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes.  That should solve the problem.'
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of
the table.  'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'
'Just take two,' Brenda replied.   'The rest are for your father.'

THURSDAY

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman..  
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly.  
Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own
defense.
'Your Honor,' she began coolly, 'I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.'

FRIDAY

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in  Tampa.  'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most
of us sitting here, years ago.. Red meat is awful.  Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.  Chinese food is loaded with MSG.  High fat
diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.  However, there is one thing that
is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for
years after eating it?'
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 'Wedding Cake.'

SATURDAY

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy
25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's
arm and listens intently to his every word.  His buddies at the club are all aghast.  At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob,
how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?'  Bob replies, 'Girlfriend?  She's my wife!'  They are knocked over, but continue to ask.  'So, how'd you persuade her
to marry you?'  'I lied about my age', Bob replies. 'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'

SUNDAY

Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland, As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of
cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used.  She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.  'These' she
explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.'  She then asked, 'What do you do in  America  with your old
goats?'
A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!




Your Baby Can Read

 


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